Unreliable Truth
Emotional Truth
Memoir and Memory
The purpose of memoir is to capture the essence of the
narrator rather than the factual details of parts of life. Memoir is rarely whole or factually
correct. Memory is selective; it
distorts. It gives pleasure, it reveals
disappointment. We continually create
memory from the pieces of our experience.
The stories we tell and retell are unreliable. Who can say whether these pieces are an
actual image from a specific event we remember and not from a photo? Many people “recall” events from the
childhood from looking at old photo albums. Who can say whether the emotions
associated with a particular experience actually belong to it or are some
feeling we have learned to express?
Memory is not false, but it is unreliable in its inclination
to make a totally accurate story of the past.
The idea is to make sense of what has happened in a life and to
entertain the listener. Memories reflect
our purpose and identity; a reflection of how we see ourselves. The way we begin to tell our life story is
the way we begin to live our life. What we remember is a reconstruction of
image and feeling that suits our needs and purposes. It’s an attempt by the author to narrate
memories with the greatest emotional
truth. If you’re the writer, it’s
your memory of the event written from your perspective – not your sister’s
husband or your child’s. Each of your
family members may tell the story of a particular event differently because of
their particular point of view, but that doesn’t mean that your account is
untrue.
It is your job to relate your memory as honest as possible
and to assure the reader that you have done a sufficient amount of reflection to
write your best understanding of what originally happened. The reader cannot expect you to remember
every single detail or conversation accurately. But the reader has the right to
expect that what you claim to be true will be accurate to the best of your
recollection. Memoir is about honesty,
not about how you appear to others. If you write with emotional truth, your reader will care about you and the events
your life. The stories we leave the next generation become the memories upon which
they build their lives. Anyone can write facts; not everyone has the courage to
write the truth.
Most memoirs are written in first-person. This is your life you are writing about -- your ambitions, success and perhaps, even your failures. Your memories are filled with people who have adorned, scarred and skewed the plot of your life. You must summon back the men, women, children and animals who have crossed your life. To preserve the important people you have known, put them in your stories before time robs you of your impressions. These people are waiting in the wings.
What do you remember about your first date? Did you insist you weren’t hungry so he
wouldn’t see your teeth looking disgusting?
Were you afraid to say you needed to use the bathroom?
Conversely, how about the sweetest person you knew? Did that person ever fail you?
Who was the one person that drove you completely nuts?
Do you often wonder what would have happened if you didn’t:
Marry that
person Attend that
college
Go to that
concert Take that job
Catherine Alexander
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